A couple of weeks ago, while conversing with a friend, she said, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” I asked her what she meant by that. She responded, “This wasn’t what I had planned for my life.” At that moment, I understood what she meant. Coming to mind was the loss of my newborn son, one of my darkest times. Those words swirled in my head like a tornado picking up speed, leaving a mass of destruction. 

One of many trials to follow revealed massive cracks in my faith. Those trials were my tectonic plates shifting the foundation of my Christian walk, which, up till then, I strutted around as a proud peacock—that season offered up pockets of sinking sand amid solid bedrock. My trust in God took a hit, and I just kept hobbling down the path, hoping and praying I would soon find sure footing again. Seeing myself in the wilderness, battered by the intensity of my tribulations, reminded me of the older son in the story of The Prodigal. Most of us are familiar with the parable of the wayward son who flees the comforts and blessings of his father’s house to pursue more “worthwhile pleasures,” only to find himself destitute and alone. The ending finds the repentant lost son embraced by the father symbolizing how our heavenly father welcomes us back home. 

However, I want to draw your attention to the encounter between the eldest son and the patriarch in Luke 15: 28-31 after hearing his father’s plan for a celebration in honor of his brother’s homecoming.

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

Wow! The wilderness showed me I resented what God was doing in the lives of others, demonstrating my lack of trust that he would turn my circumstances around in his timing. I was holding so tightly to a script that coincidentally never included grief, sadness, sickness, anger, jealousy, and much more. How many of us, after accepting Jesus cling to the good, with no room for the bad and the ugly? Yet, we are warned in scripture that life will bring us trouble (John 16:33) in all shapes and sizes. For a solid 15 years, the tidal waves of life kept chiseling away my faith, eroding the core of my foundation, leaving me questioning the Father’s love.  

At the heart of it all was my need for control. I NEEDED to be in control, to have all the answers, to question the Spirit’s leading, and to manipulate or at least try so the outcome was in my favor. The big problem with control is its resistance to resting, abiding, or dwelling in his presence. Being in the driver’s seat of our lives, which is what control is, means stifling or choking the prompting of the Holy Spirit. My control mechanism was in full throttle, choking the life out of my family. Control robs us of the opportunity of trusting in him and living in joy. Trust me when I say I had a death grip on the script of my life, leaving my trust in God in shattered shards. 

Let’s do a compare and contrast on this topic of trusting God and letting go of the script. We will be focusing on Genesis 22 and John 21. I can only imagine what was going through Abraham’s mind as he trekked up the mountain with his son, Isaac, to offer a sacrifice in Genesis 22. Fully aware of God’s commitment to multiply his descendants through his promised offspring, we read of no inner struggle of “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”  

In verse 8, we see the confidence and trust Abraham had in God:

8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

In Hebrews 11, we catch a glimpse of Abraham’s name amongst the other faith Hall of famers due to his unwavering obedience to God. Obedience rooted in trust that God would fulfill what he said he would do. 

Another way the Bible addresses letting go of the script is in Proverbs 3:5-

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;

Trusting God involves releasing control, not trying to figure everything out, and submitting to him. Coming to terms with that life in complete submission to God will not look like anything you could have imagined. It is why the Bible speaks just as much of valleys as it does of mountaintops. Letting go of the script means realizing that God will carry you through it all. The encouragement of this verse is to look upward to God and not inward to self.

In contrast to Abraham’s trust in God’s plan, we read about Jesus’ disciples in John 21. It catches Jesus’ three-year companions returning to their former occupation of fishing. We can only speculate about the why but Acts 1:6 sheds light on their mindset of how Jesus would restore Israel. The focus was still earthly. Later in Chapter 1, an about-face of the disciples’ trust occurs. 

Starting in verse 1 of John 21-

1 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

Isn’t it interesting that we often come up with nothing when we hold to our script or control? All night, they fished, and the result was a big fat zero. I think Jesus filled their nets the next day to say to them, “If I’m in control, you won’t come up empty.” He was tangibly showing the disciples they would be fruitful if he were in the midst. 

We see the shift in the disciples’ lives after reading Acts 1 & 2 with the introduction of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. In one day, three thousand were added to the church. One of the biggest takeaways from the disciples letting go and trusting their life’s plan to God is the fruitfulness and blessings to others. Submission to God’s leading means the impact we get to have on the lives of others. There’s no containing the plans of God when we are willing to release the reins and have confidence in him. 

So today, friend, I invite you to let go of the script and trust that God has a better plan. Sit and talk through prayer, asking God to help you better trust him. Repent for not yielding your life to him entirely. Commit to obedience with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and reading his word. 

Leave a comment and share with a friend if this has helped you. 

XO,

Katherine